“Maxim is in a very difficult position, but it has got some talent in it and they will dig themselves out of the doo-doo.”More pertinent is that Dennis did have that plan and it worked. He took Maxim to the US, where the first branded bar Maxim Lounge is about to open in Miami, followed by a 2,300-bed resort in Las Vegas and a steakhouse chain, Maxim Prime. “The Maxim furniture line in America, produced by Z-Line furniture and sold in Macy’s department store, makes more money than Maxim UK,” says Dennis, almost breathless with laughter.He has cut a deal with Vodafone that allows readers of Maxim titles across Europe to download jokes and pictures of girls Every one of his websites, he says, makes a profit. has a skewed vision of the world and although I think he’s hugely talented this was not really a vision that we wished to put forward to our readers and advertisers. Although I have to say that I nearly fell off my chair when I read his feature on the Ikea sex party – this is how to have sex when you are putting Ikea furniture together.”He is confident that its new editor, Derek Harbinson, can turn the ship around.

“They brought in Darth Vader [recently departed editor Greg Gutfeld] and I told ‘em not to. I love Darth Vader and I’m hoping the company is going to offer him a new job soon that you’ll think yes, that is more up his street. First of all, I think you are crazy to bring an American to edit a British magazine, quite frankly Secondly Darth, Greg… We’re perfectly prepared to employ recidivists at Dennis Publishing Ha-ha-ha.

It’s a home from home.”It is Maxim that has made Dennis his money. When in March 1997 he was forced to concede that Emap’s FHM had snuck up on the outside of his magazine like “an Ethiopian sprinter who we didn’t see”, Dennis defiantly pledged: “We will go after them and we will beat them.” When asked how, he replied: “I’d be a nutter if I told you that.”Nine years later, Maxim sells just 146,043, compared to FHM’s 420,688 “Struggling, struggling,” says Dennis of its performance. “You just can’t take The Week as it is and put it on the web. I am looking to create an environment that the people who love The Week will go to at least two or three times a week. If Dennis Publishing fails at this then we are all going to have to go and shoot ourselves, because these are our best boys and girls working on the best product and this should be a knockout.”Dennis, a science obsessive, runs his Fitzrovia headquarters like a publishing laboratory and his “talent” have hit upon a new idea.

“Do you know the fastest-growing segment of The Week’s readership? Children in private schools. You’ve got the sensible teachers who see in The Week an opportunity for people with the focus and concentration of – ha-ha-ha – a dog. Young boys, let’s face it: how long can they concentrate for? The Week presents the world to them in chunks they can get a grip on.”Dennis, who donated £1m to New Labour but has fallen out of love with the Blair regime, would love to expand the project to state schools. “We discount for educational purposes, but we know that many of these people will grow up becoming readers of The Week.”Another famous title in Dennis’s portfolio is Viz, which has him baffled because it speaks a language he understands.

“I think it’s hilarious but I shouldn’t be able to understand three-quarters of it – I’m 59 years old, right? I wish it would reconnect with the first decade of the 21st century, but it still makes a lot of money and has a lot of fans and I’m very proud to publish it.”Dennis has also moved into gambling magazines, such as Poker Player and Inside Edge, the latter having been edited until recently by former Mirror City Slicker James Hipwell, until recently residing at Her Majesty’s Pleasure – just as Felix himself did for a fortnight in 1971 after the landmark obscenity trial over the satirical title Oz “He’ll be back, don’t you worry. In the spring Dennis will give the title a major lift with the launch of a website, provisionally named The Week on the Web.”This is going to be a huge thing for us, the most money we’ve ever spent on a website,” he says. The Week, a digest of newspaper and magazine articles from around the world, is now selling 430,000 in the US. By 2001 it was outselling GQ by almost three to one and was the top-selling magazine at many US news-stands.”Is Felix Dennis mad?” asked The Wall Street Journal five years ago when the British publisher launched the British phenomenon that is The Week in a market where titles such as Time and Newsweek were struggling to maintain profits. I decided I didn’t want to be in the newspaper business, which was a very stupid and foolish thing. Probably I made that decision during my lost years, the eight or nine lost years. Ha-ha-ha.”The photographer arrives, prompting Dennis to shout out, “Make-up!”, and ruffle his hair theatrically.